Do you know the Muffin Man?

¡Hola amigos!

Chile runs on propane. Unlike the U.S., however, the infrastructure can't support pipelines to transport the stuff to each house. Instead, propane is sold in gigantic returnable tanks (for the calefont and the stove) and cute little ones (for space heaters and grills). Side note: water heaters and central heaing are nonexistant in Chile. Instead of a water heater, each house has a calefont which heats the water as it is used. Our calefont is located outside, near the kitchen door. Every time someone showers, or runs the dishwasher, or wants hot water to shave with, he/she has to walk outside and light the calefont with a match. It actually works quite well, the only downfall being that the temperature of the shower is inversely proportional to the temperature of said shower. If the water pressure is too high the calefont can't keep up and the shower is cold. If the water pressure is too low the temperature is scalding. End side note. Anyway, the companies that sell propane have a lot more competition here than in the states and are subsequently more interesting.

One company, called Lipigas, has commercials that feature the "Rapperos" (get it? rapping perros?). Anyway it's these dogs that wear bling and sing and dance and sit in bubble baths between two poodles wearing pink lace--pretty much the most rediculous ad campaign imaginable. And that's just the TV campaign for one company.

A more popular and cost effective marketing strategy is to drive up all the streets and sell door to door. They don't actually knock on each door, but each company has a signature noise that lets you know when the truck is on your street. For example, the drivers of Lipigas beat out a signature rhythm on the tanks. Without a doubt, however, the prize winner in this category is Abastible. The executives of this company decided that the most effective method of appealing to the consumer would be to broadcast an eclectic mixture of american songs in an obnoxious electronic tone. They never play a complete song, instead choosing to transition rapidly so you get more melodies for your money. It's kind of like an ice cream truck from hell. Here's a small sampling.

"It's a Small World"
"Pop! goes the Weasel"
"Row, row, row your boat"
"Deck the Halls"
"London Bridge is Falling Down"
"Yankee Doodle"
"Silent Night"
"Do you know the Muffin Man"
"Jingle Bells"
"...and much more!"

Anyway, they usually cruise up the street at least once every morning sounding their fragmented melodies so I have woken up to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" more frequently than I care to admit. As an added benefit, and thanks to the Doppler Effect, when the trucks pass the house the whole song drops in pitch and sounds out of tune for a couple seconds. I think Bill Watterson would say "it builds character." Anyway, I have to run. Thanks for tuning in.

ya me voy
Andrius